The Four Side Model: Unlocking Effective Communication
In a recent Leadership Bootcamp live session, we delved into one of the most effective communication models I've used for over a decade: the Foresight Model by German psychologist Friedemann Schulz von Thun. This model profoundly impacts how we perceive and convey messages, making it a cornerstone for effective leadership communication.
The Essence of the Foresight Model
At its core, the Foresight Model explains that every communication involves four distinct messages within a single interaction. Understanding these layers helps both the sender and receiver navigate the complexities of human communication. Let’s break down these four components:
Self-Revelation: This aspect of communication reflects who you are, your feelings, and your perspective on the world. It’s about what you're revealing about yourself in your message.
Facts: These are the clear data, insights, and information that are being communicated. It’s the objective part of the message that conveys straightforward information.
Relationship: This component focuses on the dynamic between the sender and receiver. It encompasses the emotional tone and the nature of the relationship, which can influence how the message is received.
Appeal: This is about what the sender wants the receiver to do. It’s the directive part of the message, aiming to elicit a specific action or response from the receiver.
Practical Example: A Car Ride
To illustrate how these components interact, let’s consider a common scenario: driving with your spouse.
Scenario: You’re driving, stopped at a red light, and your spouse shouts, “It’s green! Drive!”
Self-Revelation: Your spouse’s shout might indicate stress or urgency. Perhaps there's an important appointment you're heading to, and she’s anxious about being late.
Facts: The straightforward fact here is that the traffic light has turned green. This is the objective data being communicated.
Relationship: The shouting can imply various underlying relationship dynamics. Maybe there's residual frustration from a previous conversation, or a tense atmosphere exists. The tone and delivery can reveal much about the current state of the relationship.
Appeal: The clear appeal is for you to start driving because the light is green.
Applying the Model in Leadership
This model is invaluable in leadership, as it helps in both understanding and delivering messages more effectively. Here are some practical tips:
As a Sender: Be mindful of the four components when communicating. Ensure your facts are clear, be aware of the relationship dynamics, and consider what your message reveals about you. Clearly articulate what action you desire from the receiver.
As a Receiver: Listen for the underlying messages. Recognize the sender’s emotional state and relationship cues. Clarify if necessary, to ensure you understand both the facts and the intended appeal.
Written Communication: An Added Layer of Complexity
Written communication often lacks the non-verbal cues present in face-to-face interactions, such as tone of voice and body language. This can lead to misinterpretations. When writing:
Be explicit about your intent.
Use clear and concise language to convey facts.
Consider how your words might be perceived in terms of relationship dynamics.
Make your appeals direct but polite.
Watch the Video of the Live Leadership Bootcamp:
The Foresight Model by Friedemann Schulz von Thun provides a robust framework for understanding the multifaceted nature of communication. By recognizing and addressing the four components—self-revelation, facts, relationship, and appeal—leaders can enhance their communication effectiveness, leading to more harmonious and productive interactions.
Incorporate this model into your daily interactions, and watch how it transforms your communication, both personally and professionally.
This is one of the best communication models I've ever used, and I use it since, I don't know, 10 years for sure. This is the foresight model by a German psychologist, Friedman Schultz von Tuhn. On the left side we have the sander, and on the right side we have a receiver.
So it's two people talking together like you see in the middle. And that can be. in different functions in different ways. So this model explains that you have always four different types of messages inside of one message. So if you talk to a person, then this person can understand four different things, depending on different topics.
So the first message is self revelation. So who do you feel? Who do you stand for? Uh, What do you stand for? That's kind of your perspective of the world, and that's . What you're reflecting in what you're saying. Number two are facts. Clear data and clear informations towards the receiver.
And then the relationship part is how are you related to the other person? And I will give examples later than it will be more clear. And then if we look into the appeal, , the appeal is really what would you like the other person to do? So let's just take a sticky note and say here, if we say, this is the self revelation, it's all about me and my perspective,
if we look at facts, facts is relatively easy, especially for a German. Um, it's data, oops, data insights and information. So this is what you will share as that part of that message. And then if we go now to relationship is what is the relationship between the two people or more people obviously. And then if we look at the appeal, what would you like the other person to do? So let's get it to example. I often use the example when you drive in a car with your spouse. So it's like me and my wife driving in a car, stopping at a traffic light. The traffic light is red, I'm the driver. I'm looking around, I'm looking, whatever other people walking around, I'm just checking out what's going on in the surroundings.
I'm not paying attention to the traffic light. And then my wife is shouting at me. It's green. You have to drive. What are the four messages in this? So if we just use this example self revelation, what can be a self revelation in this case of my wife. If she's shouting, then she might be stressed. Maybe she's in a hurry because she wants to be at a specific appointment and we are driving to that appointment. So that's her perspective on who she is and what's happening for her in this moment. If we now go into the facts. Facts is very easy in this.
If we stand in front of the traffic light and the traffic light goes from red to green, that's the fact. Traffic light changes from red to green, super easy, then it gets more complicated relationship. Shouting. I mentioned that she was shouting at me that she's eager that I'm starting driving.
So there might be a lot of things when it comes to the relationship. There might be something frustration from the day before. There might be something going on between us, and we are not in a good setup in the moment. So a lot of things can be in the relationship. Maybe I said something while we were driving towards that traffic light that upset her.
So there might be a lot of things. Let's just give an examples, like upset, because of day before, there can be thousands of opportunities. And you see already if that's in another context, that the relationship is always very, very difficult. And then the appeal is very easy as well. The appeal means, hey, start driving.
It's green.
So a very, very easy model that helps you to understand how do communications work from both sides. So you can be the sender, then you need to be aware of, okay, what is my relationship to the other person? What might the other person understand differently? If you're in a very good relationship with your best friend, then you can just slip things and they will understand your way of humor
for example. If you are not in a good relationship with the other person, then you need to be very, very clear on how you're communicating. As well be aware, what are you revealing from yourself? Are you stressed? Are you in a hurry? Are there things going on? Are you happy? Are you sad? All of this will go into the message and the other person might understand that rightly or wrongly.
And then the data and insights, the facts part. Um, As well be very clear. Hey, the, the traffic light is green. Just for your information, you can say the same thing depending on the tone of voice and so on, and the other person can understand things differently. And then of course, what is the appeal?
What would you like the other person to do? Is another key part as part of your communication important as well. When you put yourself into the receiver side. So what do you hear from the other person? Do you hear that the person is upset? Because then you can ask the other person, Hey, it feels like you're upset, what's going on?
So a very, very easy model. Use this with your team. I always um, say that putting it in front of other people and explain the model, go deeper. It's a very simple tool which you can use when you prepare communication.
Even more important when you have written communication, because written communication is often just seen from one perspective and people can interpret a lot of things into written communication. In the written communication, you don't have, the terminology is like, what is your voice level? How do you say it?
They don't see your mimic on, are you smiling? Are you laughing? Are you looking angry? They don't see that. So very important for you to be, be aware of that and then you can use it for other people to understand you better.